Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Divine Protection part 1

One cannot discuss Christian dating without addressing this topic.  This blog ends with two very important points on what is needed to find your perfect match.  The very word “Christian” means “follower of Christ”.  If one truly follows Christ, they know about His teachings, and they realize that part of true Christianity is the expectation of blessing and protection from our Divine  Creator.  Of course, most people realize we won’t be protected from everything, and all disasters will not be averted, because we live in a fallen world.  Everyone experiences tragedies, and we are all appointed to die.  However, when people are committed to Christ, He works and moves in their lives.


There are a lot of damaged, twisted, evil people in this world.  Christians have a very REAL enemy, called Satan, watching them 24 x 7 x 365, plotting and planning their downfall.  Of course, it is not Satan, personally, throwing stumbling blocks into their path. He’s busy generating world wars and global mayhem on a larger scale.  Satan has millions of helpers. 1/3 of the angels, all cast out of Heaven during Satan’s rebellion against God, belong to Satan, and are now referred to as demons.  Guardian angels from the Heavenly realms are assigned to Christians, but there are also destroyer demons assigned to us as well. We live in the middle of an unseen battle waged in the spirit world.


Mature Christian singles are either divorced, widowed, or never married.  Divorce brings a lot of baggage and pain to a person that must be worked through, with the help of our Healer, Jesus Christ.  That healing (which takes time) must take place before the single enters into another relationship, or that baggage carries into the new relationship and ruins it, too.  Far too many Christians try to leap into another relationship, rather than get their pain healed, because they believe a new relationship will make their pain go away. They want the pain stopped NOW.  The new relationship is only a Band Aid for their pain. The wound will fester and infect under that Band Aid, causing the decaying sickness to invade their entire being, and possibly spread to others. These are very destructive people, whether they realize it or not.  I call them the "broken ones".


Then you have Christian singles who are so carnal, so riddled with sin and deception, so unconcerned with personal spiritual growth, so cavalier about the things of God, so self-centered and self-serving that they don’t care who they hurt, as long as they get whatever they want.  They are all about feeding their own egos, and their own emotional and physical gratification. I call them “carnal Christians”, because I am not sure whether or not they are even part of God’s family, although it’s not my place to say for sure.  They train-wreck and wreak serious damage upon other Christians who are unwise enough to get involved with them.  People with common sense give them a wide berth.


Then you have what I call “ravening wolves”, actual minions of Satan, who PRETEND to be Christian, strictly in order to use, to deceive, and to wreak total havoc upon the lives of real Christians. They run rampant in singles groups and in churches, leaving a trail of pain and destruction in their wake. They are there for one reason…..Kill…..Steal….Destroy. Hence, minions of Satan assigned to carry out his plans.


If you are a Christian single truly committed to Christ, you have to be on guard against all  these destructive people, because there is an unholy assignment formed against you in order to mess you up.  The satanic realm, and sometimes your own ignorance and disobedience will bring these destructive forces into your life.


My first husband is the perfect example.  Even when I was young, there was a call of God on my life.  Satan sent that man into my world just as sure as the sun rises every morning.  I endured years of physical and emotional abuse, and he molested my youngest daughter, wrecking her young life for years.  Her emotional self still suffers the results of his abuse.  In my ignorance, I was swept away on his wave of destruction, and the call of God on my life was derailed for 30 years.  After walking away from that heinous situation at the age of 29, I spent several more years infected with rage, anger and hatred over what had happened.  Was I successfully furthering the cause of Christ during those painful years after the divorce?  Absolutely not.  Satan  won twice!  HOWEVER….had I been a completely SOLD OUT Christian, consulting God over every aspect of my life, I’d have never entered into that relationship in the first place.  It took a few years, but I learned my hard lessons.


Now for some practical examples of  DIVINE PROTECTION you can relate to.


I’ve experienced a lot of loss and tragedy throughout my life.  Sometimes I felt like it would literally kill me, like my heart was being dug out piece by piece with a rusty spoon.  After I “semi-recovered” over the death of my second husband, whom I'd loved very much, and when I decided to take a chance on getting out in the world again to build new relationships, I determined that I would carry GOD with me for the duration. 


I told God that I didn’t think I could survive another train wreck to my heart, and would He please protect me?  I prayed that before I ever ventured out. I told Him that I would ABIDE by His instruction, whatever He said.  This component is VITAL.  If you pray for God’s protection, or God’s answer, or direction, you must be WILLING to abide by what He says. My choice to walk under God’s protection seriously cut into my “dating pool”.  Like I mentioned in my “Online Dating or Not” blog---- I reviewed over 300 profiles, and only found 6 that I felt confident were truly Christian.  None of them panned out. Visiting a large church singles group for nearly 4 years, I’ve only met 2 or 3 possibilities, and none of them have borne fruit.  I feel like that is for a reason – God’s protection, and God’s perfect timing.   


The first man in that group who showed interest in me a couple of years ago completely took me by surprise I didn’t even know how I felt about him. The first night we met, he stuck to me like glue, with his face nearly in my dinner plate.  My girlfriend was quite envious that she wasn’t chosen to be the recipient of his attentions.  He had served in Christian ministry, and said all the right things.  Over the next few weeks, he frequently sent me cutesy little text messages, cutesy emails, called me on the phone, continually talked "Christian-ese", mentioned  the importance of following God’s direction, miracles, ministering to others, AND paid me extravagant compliments.  He set up little coffee meetings where he flirted with me outrageously.  He swept me up into big bear hugs at every opportunity.  He wanted to come into my home, spend more time, and also asked me to build a (free) web site for him.  However, I was holding back from inviting him into my home, or stepping forward into a relationship, something just didn’t feel quite right to me in my spirit.


 So, I took a couple of hours to pray and meditate about it. I asked God again, for protection and direction, and asked whether or not I should move forward.  Was he in God’s plan?  Within 48 HOURS of that prayer, God clearly revealed, through a personal incident, that he was a liar, a deceiver, and conniver looking to hook up with a WIDOW so he could steal her dead husband’s blood money.  While trying to romance me, he’d come on to my girlfriend, (also widowed). She was so lonely and hungry for love, she immediately fell for it.  I learned he’d been married three times, and ALL his wives divorced him for adultery!  His 3rd wife insisted to anyone who’d listen that he was trying to kill her to gain her life insurance money and money from her business, so he could benefit financially and marry a policeman’s widow.  He’d been kicked out of his church after being provided multiple chances to clean up his act with wife #1. He later went to work for a well-known Christian corporation and was fired there due to his scandals over wife # 3.  He didn’t have a dime to his name.  The only things he owned were his clothes, and a car that had been given to him by one of his “church friends” believing in his innocence! He was living rent-free with another Christian family, who also believed in his innocence.  I later learned he had a weird, creepy fascination for widows.  He totally scammed my girlfriend, even though I tried hard to warn her ahead of time.  She simply got angry with me because she thought I was jealous.  Once I learned all those scary things about him after my prayer for direction, I fervently and enthusiastically thanked God for His protection of me.


After 3 months or so, I was contacted by my girlfriend.  She apologized to me for her personal betrayal and ugly behaviors, and shared the rest of her story about the relationship with him, which was actually a nightmare.  First, he lied, saying he’d never been interested in me romantically, that he was only interested in ministering to widows.  (WHAT?? Ministering HOW, I might ask….?  The same way he “ministered” to HER????... No thank you….Um….I really wouldn’t consider THAT ministry, more like carnal sin!  He never offered to actually DO anything tangible for me, like mow my yard, or fix my broken door. However, he was trying to convince ME to build his web site for FREE!  Ministry, indeed! Scoff scoff, snort snort! ) 


He was so smooth, she believed she’d found the romance of her dreams, so she shortly made the horrible mistake of allowing him to move into her home.  He became very controlling and started using up her resources and her money, interfering in her restaurant business, asking her friends for money, and causing divisions between her and her family.  He tried his best to convince her to fund him for a high-dollar business venture. He drove the wheels off her car, and ate up her groceries, never contributing one dime.  He gained access to her email, bank account, everything, because she allowed him to use her computer, so she had to change all of her personal information.  She said she was awakened out of a deep sleep at 3 am one night, by the Holy Spirit loudly telling her “GET HIM OUT OF YOUR HOUSE--NOW!” 

She got up, and asked him to pack his things and leave.  He became enraged, and snarled at her as he was furiously packing up “Well, THIS is about the QUICKEST move in/move out I’ve ever had to do!”  (Scary, sounds to me like he had pulled that scam a few times before……scarier still, he remains a predator lurking around the edges of that singles group!)


After she shared with me, I sent up another heartfelt “THANK YOU JESUS, thank you thank you thank you for protecting me from him!”  I was almost in tears, I was thanking God so fervently.  I believe, if I’d allowed that man into my life, he’d have taken everything I had, leaving me penniless, he’d have cheated on me with other women, and he’d have probably physically abused me as well.  My life would probably have been COMPLETELY destroyed, taking me years to recover!!!  Not long after I spoke with her, I happened to notice his car cruising slowly by my home.  I noticed it more than once.  I realized that although I had never given him my home address, he'd taken it off her computer.  That man weirdly stalked me at church for two long years afterward!!  To this day, I duck around corners to avoid running into him!!


God was watching out for both of us, and God protected both of us—my girlfriend and me.  However, I believe I walked away un-damaged because I prayed for God's protection ahead of time, and I was willing to abide by what He told me.  God DID come through for my friend in the end, by warning her to kick him out of her home.  However, she “thought” she’d diverted his romantic attention from me, her best friend, to gain the relationship.  She dishonored me as her friend, and she did not consult with God on what His plan for her life was regarding this man.  I believe this is why her protection was delayed and why she was hurt.


Recently, God averted me from possible disaster again.  I was approached by someone (from that same church singles group!!!) wanting to spend time together.  He also claimed to have served in Christian ministry.  I didn’t know him well, so I put him off by telling him I’d think it over.  I knew a highly respectable Christian man who I learned was part of his life before his divorce, some years prior.  I approached this man, and asked “Can you tell me a little about so and so, he wants to spend time with me.” 


The man recoiled…yes, I say recoiled….in HORROR.  He went on to tell me that the man had been in ministry, but was continuously in “trouble” over ethics issues. He was arrogant, dishonest, and deceitful.  He carried on multiple internet affairs. When his wife discovered it and provided proof of numerous affairs, she divorced him.  He’d probably been involved in physical affairs as well as internet pornography.  Needless to say, I opted NOT to spend time with this man.  Again, I breathed “THANK YOU JESUS!”  


 Do you see what happened here?  Satan tried to interject those men into my life.  His minions assigned to my life KNOW ME very well, and they know what to throw in my path to make me stumble.  During my single mom days, I encountered a lot of selfish jerks, and I learned to spot players and damaged goods pretty quickly.  Out of pure self-defence, I learned to be a people watcher. I can usually spot somebody fairly quickly who claims Christianity, but who is not walking the walk.  I am not desperate, and I am not easy to fool when it comes to men. (Women can mess me up, another story, more work needed there…)   My father was a minister, and I have tremendous respect for men serving in Christian ministry. Who did Satan send across my path, but men he thought I’d TRUST, men whom I wouldn’t immediately suspect of duplicity ……. men involved in ministry!  Except for God’s protection, I’d have been terribly deceived and hurt by both of those men.


Wrapping up …. There are two things necessary to find the perfect match God has for you. 


Number one:  Ask for God’s divine protection to keep you OUT of relationships He does not want you in. Be 100% willing to follow what He tells you to do, or not to do.  God knows better than you do what you need. He also knows better than you WHEN you need it.  Don’t be disappointed if you aren’t dating today.  If you are submitted to God’s will, your relationships WILL come in His good time. Maybe He is busy preparing that mate’s heart, or their circumstances to make them the best person to match you.  Or maybe He is preparing YOU so that you’ll be the best person to match THEM.  Respect God’s timing.  Don’t rush it.


Number two:  Do NOT rush into a relationship to stop your pain.  GOD is the ultimate Healer.  Another person won’t heal you or fix you if you are broken.  Your damage will only damage them.  You aren’t ready to move into a relationship if you are still broken, and it will only end in more pain and disaster. Approach the Lord and give Him the time and opportunity to heal you, no  matter how long it takes.  You'll be glad you did.

God bless…..and may He provide you with protection, direction, and healing today!!

No comments:

Post a Comment